While all of us go through the “motions of life,” not all of us experience it the same. Some welcome it, while some don’t; I wonder why? A transition can be a defining moment where you can grow or have an unbearable, potentially crippling, experience. When someone is more welcoming, they are more likely to get through a transition, regardless of the intensity, with inspiration and resiliency.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of change. Especially whenever it’s been out of my control or unexpected. I traded teams and became a fan after my “best/worst transition” fertilized my biggest growth. It’s funny to reflect on a time when excessive alcohol, depression, and panic attacks resulting in regurgitations daily could be one of the lessons learned and emotional intelligence developed. This happened after my 6-year relationship ended 6 months into our engagement. You never think it’ll happen to you until it does. You also never think you can make it through until you do.
For you city folk, think of this process as the on-and-off boarding of a train. Sometimes the easiest and predictable parts are the arrival and departure. The in-between is unpredictable. So much nonsense can occur and destroy your positive energy or you might be distracted, enjoying a good book or taking a much-needed nap. You can easily be lost in another world, land of your thoughts, and next thing have to jump up in a hurry just making it out the door. Worst-case scenario, you miss your stop. You can figure your way back but it’s going to add some unexpected travel time and maybe even a few extra bucks. Think about how you’d feel missing your station and ask yourself, what would you think next?
I’m going to provide 2 examples of positive and negative ways of navigating your thoughts.
2 negative thoughts
- I can’t believe the trains are delayed again! This always happens and I can’t understand why?!
- What an obnoxious person! How inconsiderate don’t they see other people on this train?!
2 positive thoughts
- I might not have the extra time but since there is nothing I can do, I will make the most of it. I can try to leave earlier.
- They must be having a terrible day, I hope things turn out better.
You can see the difference in one’s attitude. Begin to practice this daily and I guarantee you’ll notice a difference.
Now I’m going to share 3 practical tips that helped me:
- Perspective: Just as we mentioned above, alter the way you navigate negative and positive thoughts. It can help to view stress as a challenge and not a threat. It helps to write it out.
- Inventory: Remember the times you’ve transitioned before. They are constantly happening so take an inventory.
- Acceptance: this could have easily been number 1 but can be challenging to embrace. Accept the transition for what it is and only then can you begin to transition successfully. Don’t focus on why it happened rather what you can learn from it.
These will take practice so flex those brain muscles!
Professional Help
Therapy tends to focus on addressing “in the present moment” anxiety and depressed-related issues relating to transitions. Seek help from a mental health professional if you start to also experience problems in other important areas of life resulting from difficulty transitioning.
Final Words
Find distractions aka coping skills and rediscover a hobby or engage in something creative that will make you feel better. Always turn to those you love and support you. Embrace a challenge and you are more likely to learn and grow.
